#bsd osamu

[favficbirthdays]

Happy Birthday

Osamu Dazai (19th June)

Bungou Stray Dogs

[eriace]

old wounds, new bandages ; dazai osamu

oneshot & angst to fluff ft. lime ↪ in which y/n joins the armed detective agency, but she’s not here for friendship or forgiveness—especially not from the man who left her behind in the darkness they both came from. ↷ dazai osamu ; bungou stray dogs (requested by anonymous)

THE FIRST TIME she saw him again—really saw him—was when she walked into the agency lobby with a file under her arm and bitterness clawing up her throat.

Osamu Dazai, with his trademark bandages and toothy grin, spun around in his chair like he hadn’t just evaporated from her life years ago.

“Oh?” His eyes gleamed with mischief. “New recruit? How exciting—wait a minute... is that you, Y/n-chan?”

She didn’t answer.

Didn’t spare him a glance. She brushed past his desk like he was just another blurred figure in the crowd.

It hit harder than any bullet ever could.

They hadn’t spoken a word since.

Not during missions. Not during lunch breaks. Not even when the others invited her to dinner and Dazai made his usual dumb jokes like nothing had ever happened—like he hadn’t left her in the Port Mafia to rot in blood and silence.

And Dazai, for all his usual unreadability, felt every second of it.

He tried. At first.

He made light quips, flirty remarks, even pulled the dramatic "we were trauma buddies!" card.

Nothing worked. She kept her eyes on the reports, her tone cool and clipped, and her body angled away like being near him physically burned.

And honestly?

Maybe it did.

Ranpo noticed first.

The detective leaned against the office wall one afternoon, a lollipop in his mouth and disapproval in his eyes. “You’re really bad at this whole ‘human decency’ thing, huh?”

Dazai blinked. “Me? Ranpo-san, please. I’m a picture of charm and remorse.”

“You’re a picture of stupid.” Ranpo sighed, popping the candy from his mouth. “You left her behind. She survived hell. Now she works here and all you’ve done is crack jokes and pretend you’re not guilty. Don’t be surprised she hates your guts.”

For once, Dazai didn’t have a comeback.

He found her on the rooftop later that day, the wind tugging gently at her (h/c) hair, her back straight, shoulders tense.

“Y/n.”

She didn’t turn.

He exhaled. The playful façade slipped off, piece by piece.

“I know I’m late. Too late. And I don’t deserve forgiveness. But... I never forgot you. Not for a second.”

A beat of silence. Then another.

She let out a humorless laugh.

“And yet, you never looked back.”

His steps were tentative as he moved closer. “I didn’t think I could save you. I didn’t think I was strong enough to even try. So I ran.”

Her voice was quiet, but it trembled with something deeper. “I waited. Every day. I told myself you’d come back for me. That you were planning something—anything. But you just disappeared, Osamu.”

He flinched at the sound of his name in her mouth.

“I was scared.” His voice cracked. “Of dying, of staying, of losing you in that place. So I left before I could see you fall.”

“But I did fall.” She turned now, eyes glassy but defiant. “And you weren’t there to catch me.”

They stared at each other—two ghosts of their fifteen-year-old selves, wounds reopened by time and proximity.

And then Dazai did something rare.

He dropped the smile.

He stepped forward and cupped her face with bandaged hands.

“I’m here now.” He whispered. “If that counts for anything. I want to make it count.”

Her breath caught. The weight of everything settled between them—anger, pain, love, longing.

And when she leaned in, when their lips met, it wasn’t soft.

It was messy, desperate, bittersweet.

She tugged at the lapels of his coat like she was still mad—still aching—and he let her, arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer, closer.

His mouth moved against hers, coaxing, apologizing, devouring.

When she pulled back slightly, panting, her forehead pressed to his, she muttered, “You still suck.”

He smiled, lips brushing hers again. “I know. But I’ll keep sucking less if you stay.”

“I haven’t forgiven you.”

“That’s okay. I’ll earn it.”

© eriace ;; don’t repost my works.

[trying-to-figure-out-bsd-logic]

Loser is making an acute angle and still not falling. I hate him. Why the fuck isn't he falling?? This shouldn't be possible—Why isn't gravity isn't working for him?!

[baby-tini]

Do you think Dazai would defend me in court/jk

Yeah, he would. While Dazai can be silly and even unserious most of the time, he's still an amazing talker. He's able too talk himself out of every situation, so, while he's not a lawyer, he'd give you tips on what too say, when too cry, how too say it, everything of that sort. If he were too be a lawyer though, he'd have a very high success rate for his clients in getting them off or at the very least, getting a lot of charges thrown out and lowered. Also, with his job as a detective, he's highly familiar with the law and the little loop holes, especially if you're his s/o, he'd do everything too get you off scott free.

[chester-god-0]

I'm dying trying to find that fanart of a very busy, very annoyed Atsushi trying to work while Dazai is clinging to him, being dragged behind.

If you find it and show it to me, I will light a candle in your honour and send you a virtual cookie.

Please, I'm desperate

[archrins]

Uhh osamu smoking on a beach?

[kunibram4ever]

KUNIKIDAZAI PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

As a prompt ummm maybe dazai comforting kunikida after a bad dream or something like that. Giving him a hot tea while he listens to kuni talk. Any more angsty kunikidazai art like this usually involves dazai suffering and kunikida being there for him, which is lovely, but kuni is SO traumatized too and I would love to see dazai try to be there for him, too

I know that your vision was probably something more casual but as someone who suffers from the same symptoms (not gonna say condition because I'm not diagnosed yet and my therapist is working towards it) as Kunikida people really underestimate how much OCD fucks up your mental health and sometimes all we need is to be reassured... I kinda went overboard with that when drawing this one, hope you like it

Not my greatest work but I like it, consider this my vent art. Thanks for the request!

[anonymousewrites]

There's a Will; There's a Way (Book 4) Chapter Twenty-Four

Dazai Osamu x Reader

Chuuya Nakahara x Original Character (Akira Mori)

Yandere! Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader

Chapter Twenty-Four: Four Dimensions

Summary: Akira is so over Fyodor and his drama and belief in his righteousness. Fyodor, on the other hand, is getting closer and closer to everything he wants.

Manga Spoilers! Literally up to latest chapter!

            “…What?” said Atsushi.

            “I may have my angel, but the companionship of he who houses the Bookmark Death is…interesting, to say the least,” said Fyodor. “Despite the…disappointing forms they take.”

            Atsushi clenched his fists. “Who the hell would ever join a bastard like you?”

            “Fuck that,” snapped Akira.

            “The expected response.” Fyodor smirked. “Very well, then let’s sweeten the pot. Should you serve alongside me, you may use the backside of the page—” he patted his pocket to indicate he had it “—to return the Armed Detective Agency to its original state.”

            Atsushi’s eyes widened. His friends would live!

            Akira narrowed her eyes. “Except for (Y/N).”

            “She has ascended to the Divine Being she was always meant to be,” purred Fyodor. “Why would I let you drag her down to this lowly plane? This is a one-time offer. What will it be? I’ll give you five minutes to think—”

            “I’ll do it!” Tears were in Atsushi’s eyes, and his words were laden with desperation. “I’ll accept your deal! Please, save everyone!”

            “Atsushi,” hissed Akira. “What the hell are you doing? None of the Agency members would want this!”

            “You would take the deal if I offered (Y/N),” said Fyodor.

            “No, I wouldn’t,” said Akira, raising her chin. “Because (Y/N) wouldn’t want you to win and because I don’t trust you.”

            Fyodor smirked. “Oh, dear. I’ve been seen through.”

            Two slashes of light pierced the air. The Divine Being’s katana stabbed through Akira and Atsushi’s chests before they could blink. Akira and Atsushi stumbled. He fell to the ground, and she caught herself on her knees, gripping her chest as blood seeped through her shirt.

            “Your beauty lies only in your natures as the Bookmark and Death,” said Fyodor. “I haven’t the faintest interesting in you. Unlike my angel, the forms they took do not match their grandeur.”

            Stabbed and insulted. I’m really, really not having a good day, thought Akira blearily, trying to hold onto anger to remain focused on the situation at hand.

            “I’m begging you!” Atsushi clutched Fyodor’s ankle, tears pouring down his cheeks. “You can do whatever you want me this! I’ll give you my life! Please, just…save everyone else!”

            Fyodor’s eyes narrowed in disgust. “How unpleasant.” He wrenched his foot free and kicked Atsushi’s hand. “To think the Bookmark, that abhorrent, noble tiger, dwells withing such a…It’s as distasteful as the reaper choosing that one.”

            Reaper, Death, Wraith, I’ve got so many great names, thought Akira, trying to staunch the bleeding of her chest.

            “Please, if there’s anything I can do, I’ll do it!” said Atsushi, still begging for his friends’ lives.

            “I’ve changed my mind.” Fyodor raised his hand with the mark, and the Divine Being stepped forward with her katana in hand. “From the neck up should be more than enough to obtain the power I need from you.” He looked at the Divine Being. “My angel…decapitate them.”

            The Divine Being flicked her wrist downwards. And her hand fell to the side with the katana. Atsushi and Akira’s eyes widened. The Divine Being’s hand reappeared on her wrist a moment later, but she turned her head to face the person who had attempted to cut her apart.

            “How…” Atsushi stared.

            “That’s a look,” said Akira. I think the blood loss is getting to me. It was slowing as her healing ability caught up, but, still.

            “Oh my,” said Fyodor, raising a brow in amusement.

            “Fear death. Fear slaughter.” Akutagawa, dressed in shadow-like armor, held a sword and stared evenly at the Divine Being and Fyodor. “Should death toy with an innocent soul it shall thusly spill into the harbor of sorrow.”

            “Akutagawa…” said Atsushi in shock.

            I don’t remember him speaking “eloquently,” thought Akira.

            “I see,” observed Fyodor. “A little parting gift from Bram, then? Supposing the powers of the vampire still dwell within you, it’s not surprising you could follow the scent of blood here.”

            “I bear no grudge,” said Akutagawa. “However, I shall martyr myself on the pledge of this knight’s sword. To any barbarian who dares bring harm to the princess or to the commoners, I shall take aim, and I shall strike!” He raised his sword.

            Aya’s alive, realized Akira. And the vampires are compelled to protect her because of Bram. She wondered what Fyodor’s compulsion was. He did take over Bram’s body. He’d probably still kill her. Heartless bastard that he is.

            “It’s no use, Akutagawa!” shouted Atsushi as the Divine Being faced Akutagawa fully. “You’ll die if you fight her!”

            Akutagawa raised his head so that the helmet did not obscure his face. He stared at Atsushi indifferently. “Who the hell are you?”

            Atsushi’s eyes widened, and Akira narrowed her eyes. Apparently, mysteries were going to abound on all sides of this situation.

            The Divine Being moved behind Akutagawa and stabbed downwards with her practiced precision and power. Akutagawa blocked with his black shield.

            “Spatial distortion,” he said, reinforced the shield and moving himself farther from the Divine Being.

            He defended against that blade?! Atsushi’s eyes widened.

            “Well, well. Look at you,” remarked Fyodor. “You possess the ability to manipulate space, just as the Ame-no-Gozen does within the Divine Being. And yet…” He smirked.

            The Divine Being appeared behind Akutagawa, moving between planes and places of existence with ease.

            “So fast!” cried Atsushi.

            “Not fast—” said Akira.

            “Correct,” said Fyodor. “My darling angel can omit all movement up until the attack itself. In realm of space manipulation, I’m afraid you’re outclassed. My angel controls all she sees and feels, and she sees all.”

            The Divine Being struck, and Akutagawa whirled, blocking with his armored leg and kicking out. The Divine Being slid back from the strike. Akira grinned, Atsushi’s eyes widened in awe, and Fyodor started in shock.

            So she’s powerful, yes. But people can fight her, thought Akira. Fyodor’s plan isn’t untouchable. (Y/N) can be helped. That was all the strength Akira needed to stand again.

            The Divine Being and Akutagawa crossed blades. The two were equally strong and durable. Even when Akutagawa was forced back and his armor unwound to hover around him, he was not daunted by the being before him, the god.

            “You’ve even retained the vampire’s durability,” observed Fyodor, his self-satisfied smirking finally falling.

            Akutagawa stood straight with his helmet on. “This blade serves the heavens. This soul follows the path of righteousness. The path of the knight.”

            The Divine Being considered him, gaze steady behind her veil. “I serve order. I am order.”

            “I am order?” Just what exactly was this Divine Being? Akira furrowed her brow.

            The Divine Being and Akutagawa swung at one another. As their swords clashed, sparks of red and green light flashed and blinded their audience.

            “Let us pose a hypothetical.”

            Akira straightened as she heard the smirk in Fyodor’s words. His strategic voice was back, and that meant he had figured something out that spelt danger for them.

            “Let us suppose we have here an ability user who can block any attack with an impenetrable barrier,” said Fyodor. “However, this individual is one dimension below us. They inhabit the second dimension: the ‘paper world.’ Now. Question. Can we three dimensional beings break through this barrier and kill the individual?” He smirked. “The answer is, of course, with ease. Atop the paper, we may simply stab the man within the barrier. For within his world, ‘depth’ does not exist. We can circumvent the barrier and attack at will. A knife of a higher dimension is incomprehensible to him up until the moment he’s pierced, which rules out any possibility of evasion. Therefore, attacks coming from a higher dimension are intrinsically inescapable.”

            Third beats second. Fourth beats third—the Divine Being beats Akutagawa, even if it takes time. Akira’s eyes snapped to Fyodor as he held up his hand with the mark of the Divine Being.

            “Allow me to demonstrate,” he said with sadistic satisfaction.

            A sword burst from within Akutagawa’s stomach. He coughed, blood spluttering upon his lips. The Divine Being still floated in front of him, no change in her expression. Her sword had merely ceased to exist at her side and instead pierced him from the inside out—his three-dimensionality meant nothing to her.

            “Akutagawa!” cried Atsushi.

            “Shit,” cursed Akira as yet another avenue of fighting was brought to its knees. Was the Divine Being truly so unbeatable? Did she hold all the power in the world? Could they never defeat her and Fyodor to save (Y/N)?

            “She circumvented the higher dimension and delivered a blow directly to his internals.” Fyodor smiled sickeningly. “My angel is superior to you all.”

The look in his eyes as he gazed at the Divine Being was so far from love and so far fallen into obsession that it made Akira’s stomach turn and her horns fully curl out as her protective nature over (Y/N) reared its head.

            Akutagawa collapsed to the ground, blood pooling beneath his body. The Divine Being gazed down at him, but he didn’t fade into light. He was still breathing, but he was kept in check by her.

            “I’m sure you understand, now, how ill-advised it would be to fight a higher plane of existence,” said Fyodor.

            “What, you expect us to just roll over and die?” snarled Akira.

            “To be frank, whether you live or die is a matter far, far below my concern,” said Fyodor. “I can depend on my angel to dispatch of you and bring what I require. I must be going. It’s time to board my plane, after all.” He turned away, and the Divine Being stepped between him and Atsushi and Akira.

            “Then let me ask you this, demon of the far North.” Holding his katana tightly and wearing a grim, determined expression, Fukuzawa stepped out of the shadows in front of Fyodor. “Have you any interest in my survival?”

            Fyodor smirked, unfazed. “Not particularly.”

            Fukuzawa looked at the Divine Being and gritted his teeth. Grief creased his features. “(Y/N)…You’ve stolen her, warped who she is. Do not expect forgiveness.”

            “I made her who she was meant to be—a being far above all of you,” said Fyodor.

            Fukuzawa glared at him. “You stole Gen’ichiro’s dream of peace.”

            “I stole it? How absurd,” said Fyodor. “His dream of world peace was doomed from the start.”

            “What?” said Fukuzawa.

            “It would not have been possible to achieve world peace through his methods,” said Fyodor. “ ‘Unifying all states will eradicate war?’ An unlearned outlook befitting of your short lives. In any case, the framework of the ‘modern state’ itself only came into being around the eighteenth century and amounts to nothing but a toddling promise. Within the next several hundred years, political and militaristic affairs will likely become the jurisdiction of the private sector. Or, perhaps, colonies exercising independence as extraterrestrial communities will rise to prominence. No matter the ship, it won’t be known as any sort of antiquated system like a ‘Union of Mankind.’ Within their new groupings, man will once more settle into ‘us’ and ‘them’ and begin their massacre.”

            “They won’t,” said Fukuzawa forcefully. “In such a time, a union of mankind will rise yet again. And shouldering virtue and benevolence ‘us’ and ‘them’ will join together!”

            “That’s precisely it.” Fyodor tsked. “That’s the fatal flaw between the two of you. The very ‘virtue’ and ‘benevolence’ of which you speak. I think it’s spectacular. However, that’s only as long as it fits atop your palm. As ‘virtue and benevolence’ outgrow that fixed size, man grows irritated. ‘World peace.’ ‘A union of mankind.’ Humanity cannot bear such enormous virtue.”

            He cast his gaze down and sighed. “Man will always forgo virtue in favor of ‘what feels natural.’ Just as he’ll forever revere the ‘status quo’ more than ‘benevolence.’ A colossal commonwealth of man. Autocracy for world peace. The masses would never allow such a thing. They cannot even handle taking care of children without family.”

            Akira and Atsushi both stiffened. They had experienced the callousness with which the world treated people who did not belong. Atsushi hid behind shyness and became easily frightened as he tried to fit in. Akira built up walls and a rough exterior to protect herself. They both understood that peace was hard to find if you were not what people approved of.

            “With a union of man having set the stage, a party of heroes will come forth who feel such is ‘unnatural,’ ” continued Fyodor. “They shall destroy it all for their goal of division and independence.”

            “That isn’t true! Man will choose peace!” said Fukuzawa.

            “He will do no such thing,” said Fyodor. “I can prove it. Fukuchi claimed he killed five hundred in the name of world peace. Yet you yourself could not affirm it.”

            “…!” Fukuzawa started.

            “He killed innocent people,” said Akira savagely. “He killed my mother and (Y/N)’s! He claimed he wanted peace but he never sought to bring people together, only to eradicate those who went against him!”

            “Akira,” said Fukuzawa quietly, and Akira looked at him, quieting. Fukuzawa looked at Fyodor, shoulders sagging slightly. “That may be true…” He glared. “But you deceived Gen’ichiro by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind. You made a fool of him, knowing peace would never come. You are pure evil!”

            “How absurd.” Fyodor put his hand to his heart. “I am Fukuchi’s successor. I am his disciple, inheriting his dream, bringing true, lasting peace.”

            “You want to bring peace?” said Akira. “I don’t believe it.”

            “How would you do it?” said Fukuzawa, narrowing his eyes.

            Fyodor smirked. “Through world war.”

            Fukuzawa’s eyes widened as a blade pierced his chest from the back. The Divine Being held the hilt and pushed the katana farther in, causing him to cough up blood.

            Atsushi let out a strangled scream.

            “No!” shouted Akira.

            It was too late. The Divine Being pulled the blade from his chest, and Fukuzawa crumpled to the ground.

            How did she do that? She was standing behind Fyodor— Akira’s eyes widened as she looked towards Fyodor. The Divine Being was still there. She was just also standing over Fukuzawa’s body.

            “By folding them across the axis of the fourth dimension, time, I’ve manifested the Divine Being of the past and the Divine Being of the present at once,” said Fyodor. “Three dimensional being such as yourself are able to draw with both hands simultaneously atop a two-dimensional surface, are you not? The same principle is now at play.”

            Goddamn these fucking dimensions, thought Akira furiously.

            Fyodor looked down at Fukuzawa and decided to humor him with the “how” of achieving world peace. “Eternal peace, born of world war…It’s a true shame I won’t be able to show it to you. In one corner, humanity. In the other, Gifted. That’s sure to be a long, long battle, don’t you think? Such opposition, coupled with threads of abhorrence, shall give rise to a humanity united.”

            “By uniting them against the gifted,” said Akira, narrowing her eyes.

            “Of course,” said Fyodor. “Gifts are, of course, a sin.”

            “You’re using us for your own ends,” said Akira. “Because you don’t see us as human.”

            “You? Most definitely not,” said Fyodor.

            “War in the name of peace?” From where he bled, Fukuzawa spoke angrily. “That’s contradictory!”

            “The stage has already been set,” said Fyodor. “The vampire’s global invasion has shown the world the danger of ability users. ‘We don’t need those abilities in the history of mankind.’ ‘Kill them all.’ Making them believe that will be simple with ‘One Order.’ ”

            Akira knew all too well that bigotry spread like plague. Fyodor could easily create the war he sought.

            “Utilizing not ‘virtue’ and ‘benevolence’ but the ‘hideousness of man,’ I shall bring forth a thousand years of peace built atop the corpses of the gifted,” said Fyodor.

            “What…are you?” breathed Fukuzawa, staring at Fyodor. “I can’t possibly see you as human. Why would you go to such lengths to—”

            “Ssh.” Fyodor pressed a finger to his lips at the moment Fukuzawa began to fade into light.

            “President!”

            “Fukuzawa!”

            “Atsushi, Akira…Forgive me,” said Fukuzawa tiredly. “I’m leaving the rest…in your hands…” He disappeared, and the Divine Being took the final sphere of green light into her hands. She clasped it gently, and it dissolved.

            Akira and Atsushi were left alone, facing with Fyodor and two Divine Beings who could come from any place and any time in a way they could never understand. How could they hope to win?

Taglist:

@snowy-violet

@introvertathome

[samutoru]

"maybe i'm the problem" - osamu dazai x gn!reader

pairing - dazai x gn!reader

warnings/contents - kissing, angst, death related subjects

summary - amongst the 3 way war starting, you and dazai had gotten into a fight. a visitor had came to ada (armed detective agency) and exposed dazai's past (when he was in port mafia). you got filled up with anger after finally knowing who he "truly" is. kunikida had sent you both to lure in the ability user who attacked the president but you refused to go with dazai, leading him to get shot by a sniper. later, kunikida breaks the news about to you about dazai undergoing surgery and you couldn't help but carry the guilt for not going to protect him.

story under the cut !

a/n : my first story ! so i hope you guys enjoy it :)

"dazai! someones here to see you!" atsushi announced as he laid as stack of paper onto his desk. "already? it's only 10 in the morning.." he complained, getting up followed by a strech.

"it's a lady, she said she's known you for a while, she said she was hoping to reunite with you, but i don't know if she's telling the truth.." atsushi sighed as he kicked his feet back onto his desk and slumped back into his chair.

"oh! we're still going together later right? to lure out fyodor with his attack on the president right?" you asked dazai as your gaze fixated at the door then to dazai.

"yeah! i can't wait to see what he has up his sleeves" dazai snickered as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "oh, do you wanna come with? i don't wanna go by myself," dazai pouted.

"sure- just let me get these last few sentences in for our report from yesterday and then i'll be ready to go with you" you chuckled.

you and dazai weren't offcially together, but you felt that there was something going on between you two. the whole agency knew about you and dazai being close so they paired you guys up to be partners along with kunikida and atsushi. if the agency heard you and dazai saying that you two didn't have anything going on between you two, they would be in denial since you two would always do couple things with each other.

you even agreed to do a double suicide with dazai.

"hi there! i'm dazai and this is y/n!" dazai greeted as he smiled at the woman in front of you two.

"i'm here to tell you about his past- how he's murdered people, committed fraud." the lady spat, hearing those words come out of her mouth left you shocked. you felt confused and you felt like the man right next to you was someone you've never known.

"dazai- what is she talking-" you turned to him for an anwer, anger filled up you up and it slowly felt that your heart was getting torn apart.

"we've known each other for years. i don't know why you're acting like we haven't met before osamu dazai" the lady interrupted you.

"but it exactly is what you think. aren't you his lover? the person he trusts with his whole life in your hands? i'm surprised he hasn't told you that he was in port mafia," the woman scoffed.

the woman had laid pictures all out for you to look at. it was dazai in a black suit and black coat holding his gun at a lifeless body.

"y/n, it's not what you think-" dazai paused as he looked at you but you interrupted him with a slap across his face.

his face was left with a mark from your hands, you stormed off from the room and headed back to the agency with a heavy heart. you slammed open the agency door and ran to the first person you saw, Atsushi.

"y/n what happend!" atsushi yelped at the surprise you were crying.

"he's so stupid!" you sobbed. atsushi opened his arms and wrapped them around your figure.

"i didn't- i didn't know that" you hiccupped. "i didn't know that he was in port mafia!" you coughed up the words with your tears running down your eyes.

"whaat! dazai was in port mafia?!" atsushi gasped. he hugged you tighter as you sobbed on his shoulders.

"he's so stupid!" you continued as more tears fell down your face. "i- i love him! and i was really stupid-- stupid enough to think that he f-felt the same way!" you continued.

"he's so stupid! he could've sat me down and explained to me what had happened but- but... i had to find it out this way..." you ranted, mumbling your last words.

"and i- i was the last person to k-know!"

atsushi was at a loss for words, he didn't know what to do or what to say. all he could do was offer his arms and his shoulder for you to cry in and on.

you locked yourself in your apartment for about a few days not knowing what was happening outside. you stopped showing up to work because you felt that you needed to avoid dazai.

you went radio silent towards the agency. every now and then atsushi would let himself in and he would make you food, even begging you and feeding you to eat because he knows that you should be eating.

you thought that it was dazai's job to do that, but it was atsushi.

you were hoping that dazai would stop by your apartment to explain what happened that day that woman came to the agency and to clear things up with you and to explain what he did in the past.

you then heard knocking on the door, in excitement and nervousness, you forced yourself up from your living room couch.

you looked thought the peephole to see if dazai was standing out your door, but it was one of the last people you expected to see at your door.

you had no clue about the 3 way war happening either. not until you found kunikida knocking on your door, desperate for you to come out. "y/n please open the door! it's important! it's about the president and dazai," kunikida pleaded.

"y/n.. things are getting serious.." he paused. "dazai got attacked on his mission by a sniper and he's currently undergoing surgery-"

After hearing those words, you felt nothing but guilt.

After Dazai had gotten shot and undergone surgery, he was unconscious for a few days. You couldn't leave his side, you were too worried to be fighting. You worried about him being attacked in the hospital but that was a low possibility of actually happening.

You were sitting in Dazai's hospital room staring at his face hoping and praying that he would wake up soon. It had only been a two days since he's been unconscious and you were starting to get worried for him. Worried that he wouldn't be able to wake up.

Just the thought of not him not being able to wake up, haunted you. you carried the guilt for seeing him the way he was, because he went alone on the mission that was assigned to the both of you.

You got up and sighed, leaving his room to grab a drink from the vending machine down the hallway. You stopped in front of his room and took a seat on the sofa next to his door. You opened up your water bottle, you took a sip, sighed again, and looked up at the ceiling.

You continued to wonder if he was going to wake up soon.

'Only if I had gone' were the words that repeated again and again in your head.

You two weren't together together, but your heart aches at the thought of him being hurt and alone. You sighed again and took another sip before going back into his room.

You walked back into Dazai's room, your jaw hung low and you were shocked. You walked into the room to find Dazai sitting up and his head turning towards the door, finding you standing right in front of him.

You dropped your half-drank water bottle, your heart skipped a beat and all your anxiety was wiped away after seeing him awake.

You ran and wrapped your arms around Dazai's neck, almost knocking him back down to his pillow. "calm down, belladonna" you heard dazai chuckle into your ear.

You felt as if you found your other half again, tears then formed at your eyes, "I'm so glad your awake," You sobbed.

Dazai had never seen you cry before. Seeing you this way was all new to him, he was shocked that you were even there to see him since the last time you two talked was when you both had that one-sided argument.

You blamed yourself for Dazai getting into the condition he was in right now. You blamed yourself day and night even although you knew he was going to be okay (from what the doctors told you), it was just that the guilt couldn't escape you.

"Hey it's okay, I'm okay," He whispered. "I'm here now," he continued. You two pulled away from the hug and Dazai cupped your cheeks and wiped away your tears from falling.

"You dummy," He chuckled, you gave him a warm smile in response. You sat down at the edge of his bed and explained the whole situation to him.

"Shouldn't you be out there fighting with them?"

You shook your head in response, then smiled softly at him. "I really couldn't..." You mumbled. "the moment I heard you were undergoing surgery-"

"My heart started to ache.." You mumbled again.

"Awww! Someone actually does care for me!" Dazai laughed.

"I do not!" you retorted back at him. "You sure do, belladonna"

"I told myself that I wouldn't leave your side until you woke up-" You finally told him. You looked down at the floor and there were tears foaming at your eyes again. The guilt washed over you again and you couldn't even lift your head up to look at dazai.

You clenched your hands into fists then you gripped your skirt, tears started to fall again. "I'm sorry for fighting with you the other day-"

"O-only if I had given you a chance-" You choked on your words. "only if i d-didn't act that way- only if i had gone with you-" You continued to sob, "Only if i had gone with you, you wouldn't be here"

He reached out for your face to cup your cheeks in his hands. He smiled at you then explained to you what he did in port mafia and why he did it. "I'm just really glad that you're here now,"

"to be frank, i'm actually surprised your here to see me, i wasn't expecting you to come since i had a feeling that you would still be mad at m-"

"because" you interrupted him.

"i came because-" you paused, you felt your words clogging up your throat again and you couldn't let them out.

"i came because i love you, dazai!" you finally blurted out as you looked up to see dazai's facial expression. You watched his eyes widen and his ears turn red.

After a few minutes, you expected him to say something but there was just complete silence. Dazai spaced out on your words and it was just repeating in his head.

You grabbed his hand resting your thumb on top of his to caress his hand. "Osamu- please say some-" You paused. He cut you off by pressing his lips against yours, his hand leaving your hand to cup your face.

"Well, you're in luck because I love you too," He admitted, pulling you in for another kiss. Your heart fluttered, you were waiting for the moment you were his and he was yours.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" He asked as he pulled you in for another kiss.

"Maybe?" You questioned, smiling into another kiss.

"What do you mean 'maybe'– it's a yes or no question!" Dazai complained as he pouted, crossing his arms right infront of you.

He laid down then patted the empty sppot next to him, he watched you go around his bed and he pulled you up to his head to make you the bigger spoon. You pressed a kiss on his nose and he nuzzled his face into your chest with his arms wrapping around your waist.

a nurse came in to see how dazai was doing, but then quickly left as soon as they realized that he finally had woken up. after a couple of minutes, you and dazai dozed off in eachothers arms.

"DAZAI! I HEARD YOUR AWAKE!" Kunikida yelled as he barged into the room along with atsushi beside him, "Dazai–San! Are you doing better?!" Atsushi asked as they both rushed into his room.

There was no response. Then there it was, silence again. Atsushi analyzed Dazai and the extra figure there. his eyes brightened when they realized you two had made up.

[new-forcasting]

cryinh thinking about that one moment in bsd wan where dazai said i'd like to go out just as beautifully and atsushi sat and cried and thought about it for a day Kafka you BITCH

[circuslemon]

https://youtu.be/FcYYWyq2qjc?si=5-YNxePIuuQ-4jiW

[trying-to-figure-out-bsd-logic]

Dazai's Heartbeat

Okay great, welcome to what the fuck is logic class! Let's begin, I'm your host trying to figure out bsd logic!! ヾ(≧▽≦*)

Anyways,

Why did everyone just move past Dazai's whole heartbeat things like that like if it was normal after a few shocks?? And why do I randomly see people say they also can control their heartbeat???

The problem I have with people saying that is the fact the heart is an Involuntary muscle. This means you can't control it, though you can limitedly influence the heart through breathing rate, but I fear it’s not enough to act as control.

Speed:

Slow breaths = activates the parasympathetic system = slows heart rate.

Rapid breaths = activates the sympathetic system = increases heart rate and triggers our “fight or flight” response.

Okay from this, slower breathing can lower your heart rate, but only within the bounds of your body’s biological capacity. For a living person, reducing the pulse to 0 bpm is impossible without catastrophic consequences y'know. ( -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ )=3

Even if you stop it for a few seconds, unsurprisingly, the brain loses it's oxygen supply within seconds. This leads to hypoxia, which can result in brain damage or death. The claim of stopping a heartbeat while staying alive doesn't hold up against our understanding of human biology.

Also, a common misconception is holding your breath doesn't slow your heartrate, it just makes it faster. Thought I should include that in.

Basically, Dazai's skill of being able to control his heartbeat is an "artistic license” used to amplify his character's mystique and mastery over his body. It is physically impossible to copy him. ( ¬ ¬)

I recommend you to also research a bit of how this works since I simplify it.

[favficbirthdays]

Happy Birthday

Osamu Dazai (19th June)

Bungou Stray Dogs

[osamudazaionly]

[chester-god-0]

New fic! This time, Dazai has the honour of being my MC (don't get too used to it)

It's the last year of High School and Dazai is ready to spend it just like every year in his school carreer. Doing the bare minimum, spending time with his best friends and annoying whoever has the misfortune of being around him when he gets bored.

His friends, however, seem to have a different idea. Ango is busy preparing for his future and Oda is being unusually secretive.

Now, how is Dazai going to survive the last year? Well, it's not like the school has any shortage of mysteries. His new seatmate is inetresting, the detective club is hilarious and something is off about the boy in the library...